I fancied myself a kind of super hero. I was majorly influenced by the movie heroes of my time, Bruce Lee, Stallone, Arnold, Mel Gibson, Clint Eastwood, Bronson etc. and the lives they were portrayed to live in those films that I actually created a similar reality for myself. My ego was all about injustice, righting wrongs and fighting for the underdog... I was big on vengeance, you have no idea how big on vengeance I was... I've committed some pretty despicable acts in the name of justice and revenge.
My anger and hatred of whatever it was I perceived to be injustice was my driving force. I believed in capitol punishment, I was racist pretty much against the entire human race equally. To hear the preaching’s of some peace peddling tree hugging freak that never experienced violence or understood the grim realities of the 'street' would anger me and completely and totally made my entire outlook on peace very grim. The fuck did they know anyway, right?
I could have been like many of my old friends who are still stuck there in their 30s and 40s, some of them in their 50s and 60s as there is no age for ego. I understand all these people who are stuck... if the foundation of the individual truly stems in light, then there is hope but anyone stuck has to be ready on their own terms to make the change and it is a fucking scary one to make and keep making... it is literally dismissing all you lived for and believed for most of your life... it felt like a disarming... like my proverbial guns were being taken away... which of course isn't the case, quite the contrary actually...
That fear of change is crippling. The fear of the unknown... there is comfort in average misery. You know where you stand when your knee deep in shit and you've learned to cope your whole life in it, the shit smells like home. The shit is home. And you know this shit well. You live it. The majority of your family and friends are living it... you are subjective to the shit.
Ego is powerful. Not many people can or will admit they are mainly living in their ego yet their lives screams of it... materialism, objects that we fundamentally believe to define who we are as people and personalities in the movies of our lives (cars, homes, clothes, jewelry, etc.) Television, the greatest fucking ego feeder on earth and billions are glued to it. Society as a whole is a fuckin lie and every human being on earth knows it whether consciously or subconsciously. Why does every society have the need to drink themselves to a stupor on the weekends? Why the need to let loose and go crazy? Because we are stifled and we accept it because we live with the comfort of the roof over our heads, our 3 meals a day, our material possessions which were brainwashed into believing we NEED... etc. etc. etc. We work jobs we hate, we do nothing that truly fulfills our souls, our beings; instead we work meaningless jobs that allow us 2 to 6 weeks vacation a year from the mundane.
We are bread to be mediocre at best and we take it up the ass freely and then we wonder why there is so much violence and people lashing out... we are frustrated as a species and most don't have a fucking clue why. Look at the state of affairs today. Has it truly gotten better in the last 2000 years? On a meaningless social and technological level, sure, but as a species? We are on the verge of a 3rd world war whether it happens in our or our children's life time, it is in the making... the fuck have we learned? Nothing. The powers that be stuff their pockets and bank accounts at the costs of millions of lives who are brainwashed into believing that they are fighting for their country and the truth is they are fighting to make rich people richer. Period. And the country they are fighting for feeds them lies and happy horseshit and either forces their people into oppression or gives them just enough comforts living an energizer battery life of mediocrity.
To wake up is to face a brutal truth. It's to become accountable for one's self.It is owning one’s life instead of constantly relinquishing it to outside forces and opinions and mainstreams It's to make the realization and accepting the fact that we've been living lies we chose to believe. It is the realization that life isn't a movie and that you're not a super hero and that the hero at the end of the day doesn't get the girl and the money and ride off into the sunset and it is that fallacy, that fantasy which keeps us in our ego.
And so remaining in our egos is a much easier road than evolving... it is much more comfortable to remain in a shit you know the stench of well... because most are living that shit and you feel like you belong... once you step out and are misunderstood, you feel alone... you feel misunderstood and you no longer are interested in petty conversation about where to get the best fuckin canolie in town, or how fast your car is, or what possessions you own, or the raise you got for fucking someone out of their money or the guy you beat up cause he cut you off in traffic and flipped you the finger.
That is why it is difficult for them. That is why I have shifted Senshido into a movement. Because Senshido was knocking people out of their boxes since its inception, I never focused on that side of it even though it was a direct side effect of the reality based self defense concept it was... now, I want to make that Senshido's primary objective. Find the people who have an awareness but are still stuck and knock them the fuck out of their box. Always remember, you cannot force anyone to do anything, they must be willing and aware... the minute you encounter solid resistance, you back off and agree to disagree peacefully and wish them well on their ways... they are not ready and forcing the issue will do nothing but solidify their position.
The path of non-violence, of peace and of tolerance is critical. Keep fighting fire with fire and all you get is more fire. It never ends... learn to yield, learn to be soft, pliable and manageable... "be like water my friend."