A PERSONAL STORY
This is a letter written for people who live in apathy and denial. This letter was written to a friend of mine in Texas back in the mid to late 90s, who used to teach self-defense, by one of his students and he had emailed it to me way back when.
It is a heavy letter and the truth behind it sinks heavily into my soul each time I read it. I cannot begin to imagine the pain that the writer must have felt, must still feel now, although it seeps through every written word.
It was not written for shock value, nor was it written to convince you to take our courses. It was written by a man who was in love with a woman who was savagely taken from him. It was written in hopes that this sort of thing would never happen again but the sad fact is... it did, hundreds if not thousands of times over since just as bad and in many cases, much worst.
It is something that happens in many third world countries daily today, right now, as you're reading this. It is something that should never happen, yet it does and so do other much more gruesome things.
I've always said, We are born, and we know for a fact we are going to die, no 2 ways about it.... what are YOU doing in between?
Paranoid or prepared? Self defense or apathy and denial? Like most, they also thought and believed, "this will never happen to me, I live in a safe neighborhood." Cemeteries, sexual assault centers and hospitals are full of people who thought and believed it would never happen to them. Don't be that statistic.
DO SOME SHIT!!!!!
Please, read with care.
"Hi, my name is Kris.
In 1977, I was engaged to a very attractive young woman named Rebecca. We were totally in love and to be married in another five months, then she disappeared on September 20th, three days before her 21st birthday. Rewards were offered; an investigation was launched, but nothing could be found of her until the following March. (6 months later).
Her body was found in a secluded clearing, 60 miles from where she was last seen. Forensics later showed that she had been repeatedly raped, sodomized, and assaulted. Her right arm had been broken, her teeth were chipped, and finally she had been shot in the head. What had once been a very beautiful and vibrant young woman had been totally destroyed by some animal with a police record an inch thick.
Of course, police arrested her killer. There was even a trial. But under the laws of that state, he was set free, even though the police had a signed confession and he had willingly taken them to her body. I want you all to think very hard about those facts. I cannot go back to the town where he still lives because I know who he is. Do any of you think I could restrain myself if I were anywhere near him? (Could any of you?)
At the same time, I have never visited Rebecca's grave, first because it was too painful for me to do so, and later because she had been laid to rest in a state far from where I had known her. It has been 21 years now, and I still remember everything about her as if it were yesterday. Her auburn hair, her green eyes, her brilliant smile, even the way she laughed and kidded with me about things are still right there in my mind.
I want each of you to think for one moment about what she went through before she died because that is what can happen to any of you. Did she plead for mercy? Did she give him everything he desired? Did she try to be rational with him? And, in the end, knowing what her fate was to be, did she fight and claw and try to stay alive? The coroner says she was shot from behind, probably while running away, and with a broken arm, probably naked and without shoes, no one can run very fast under these conditions.
I imagine it was rather like a hunter following a maimed deer, ready to put it out of its misery with a shot to the head and thus end its suffering. Only this time, it was to get rid of the only witness to the crime. Then, when she had been dead for over five months, this sick individual came back to her body and removed her head, like a trophy, and kept it in his house for a while before going to the police with some made-up story about having "found" a body in the woods.
In the end, no one except her killer really knows what happened, how many sick things were done to her, the humiliation she was forced to endure, the fear and horror she felt, and, in those last moments, the absolute terror she must have suffered. In the end, though, mercifully she could no longer feel those things, but everything she would ever have been -- mother, friend, lover, wife, life-long companion, grandmother, and more -- were gone and impossible to bring back.
Why have I told you this? Because if my Rebecca had not gone with this beast, had she not been coerced in some way into getting into his van with him, had she run away at the first sign of trouble, or had she fought hard from the beginning to prevent him from abducting her; no matter that he had a gun, then I am confident that I would not be writing this letter today.
In the end, I can only say this and hope you all listen very well: If someone tries to force you into a car, if they try to kidnap you, if they have a gun or knife and try to tell you to go with them, then is the time to fight for all you are worth or run as fast you can to get away from them, because if they succeed in abducting you, taking you to a secluded place to where they are totally in control, whatever happens is going to happen over and over and over again until they finally get tired of their game.
And then, to put it bluntly, you will die. At least when you are still free, you can fight for that freedom. At least when you are free, you can run and scream and do everything in your power to get away. And, at least when you are free, you can choose your actions, even if they are your last. To a man, it is usually very simple: Someone attacks or assaults you and you fight back. There is no question of that to men. Women have been very misled into believing that being passive will result in their safety and survival.
No one is an easier victim than a passive person. If you do not fight back, then your attacker will do whatever he wants with you. Remember this above all else. Weakness is an invitation for aggression. You need only be strong enough to get away. And, in the end, that is all that really counts. I hope and I pray that each of you reading these words take every possible step toward becoming a non-victim. It is too late for my Rebecca; do not let it be too late for you."